10 tips for surviving Alabama’s impending Snowmageddon

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February 25, 2015

Ryan Brown, co-host of the Alabama-based “JOX Roundtable” radio show took to Facebook on Tuesday to share a few important tips for surviving Wednesday’s impending snow storm.

It appears Wednesday is bringing a snow storm that we’ll all be lucky to survive. With that in mind, I’ve come up with 10 tips to help you survive any snow storm:

1. Remember: Neighbors aren’t forever. If they fail to adequately plan, it’s on them.

2. Very early tomorrow, notify your boss that you live on top of a very steep hill. In Birmingham, you are more likely to miss work due to icing issues than flooding issues. This lie will allow you to miss more cumulative days of w…ork.

3. None of your vehicles have 4 wheel drive. It will only lead to you having to leave a warm house to tow someone’s car out of a snow bank. It also makes it extremely difficult to get to work.

4. If the roads are frozen, it means it is cold enough to store food outside. Don’t waste valuable space in your refrigerator with boring things like milk and fruit.

5. Your power went off immediately. This avoids your family members bringing their loud kids to your house and eating your food. This also makes it difficult to keep your cell phones charged in order to receive notifications from work.

6. Buy white extension cords so your neighbor is less likely to notice it plugged into his generator.

7. If you have multiple pets, prioritize in advance the order you’ll eat them so you don’t have to make an emotional decision during a food shortage.

8. Remind your kids they get to nap any day, this is your ONLY chance at a weekday nap and three hours outside in sub-freezing temperatures will not kill them.

9. Rank your kids based on what you think is their future earning potential. In the event one of them has to walk to the supermarket for food, work up from the bottom of the list.

10. Grilled cheese compliments most any soup. If grilled cheese doesn’t compliment your soup choice, it’s time to look in the mirror and evaluate what you’ve become.

I hope this helps. See you all on the other side.